When to ask someone out online dating
So this may or may not be a situation you need to say NO to…
It is possible that when you talk to him, you’ll gain insight into his position.
It’s reasonable to interpret that as meaning you’ve agreed to not date anyone or sleep with anyone else, but I want to ask: when you agreed to be exclusive, how did this come about?
How clear was his side of the agreement to being committed?
I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…
I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.
Now to keep that in perspective, I also say it’s in your best interest to do and be everything you can in order to make the kind of men you desire to really to commit to you. When both people really want a great relationship, the relationship feels effortless.
That is not to say that no effort goes into the relationship – my statement is that the work that the relationship takes doesn’t feel like effort… a meaningful contribution to something worthy, fulfilling and great.
Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…In this case, you know he goes on because you can see it.But since the beginning of time, men and women have had to learn to trust one another in their relationship.I can tell you from personal experience that this was a skill I needed to learn.In my past, there have been times when even though the relationship was good, my insecurity would eat away at me.