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Your effort and energy should go to her first, always. I was splitting my efforts 60/40 percent between Audrey and my friend. Although I was not married to Audrey yet, when you are dating intentionally, the principle remains the same. If my relationship with my friend in Santa Barbara had progressed any further, I would have been choosing my friend, over Audrey.My time and effort would have swung more in her favor, instead of Audrey’s.Even when it’s hard, and especially when it’s easy. Or is your heart completely yielded to your spouse, and ultimately the Lord?We must not be tempted to base our decisions on our current season. I think by asking this question you are also asking, “Where is the line, and how close can I get to it?
Your relationships, not just marriage, are constantly fluctuating.If your deepest desire is to have a strong, healthy, covenant, marriage that is #beating50percent, then you have to be willing to align your strongest desires with your deepest desires. But I was dating to marry, and if Audrey was going to be my wife, then I needed to learn an important lesson So I put myself in Audrey’s shoes, and thought to myself, “What if Audrey had a guy friend who was becoming her best friend, and it wasn’t me…” I hated the thought. Within marriage that would be so wrong it’s insane. I’ve heard people say that being able to have opposite-sex friends is a sign of a healthy relationship. In my opinion, this viewpoint is naive and selfish.I was in love with Audrey and she knew that, this girl was just my who I cared about deeply. Marriages have “ups” and “downs.” During an “up” season, where everything is bright and dandy, it might be easier to allow a seemingly harmless opposite-sex relationship to exist, even if it frustrates your spouse a little bit.They need to be filtered through the standard we are choosing to uphold. ” Instead, you should be asking, “Where is the line, and how far can I get from it?To protect your standards, you must create some boundaries. ” Do you want to protect your marriage and make it the most exciting, challenging, rewarding thing in your life?