Rules of dating multiple guys
It amazed me that a woman could end up being so in love with a man that, initially, she wouldn't have seriously considered dating.
In fact, I was so surprised by this that I initially doubted the truth of the stories.
By now most of you have probably recognized the important point for women, which is implicit in my astonishment: men do not fall in love gradually, and they do not find themselves suddenly falling for women in whom they weren't initially interested.
I was surprised because I had wrongly assumed that women work the same way as men in this respect. Now, let me qualify a couple things before going any further.
So, in general, a man can evaluate a woman quite quickly. Many of a woman's triggers for romantic love are less immediate: In other words, while a man judges his woman primarily in relation to himself, which he does quite quickly, a woman evaluates her man on how he relates to the outside world, and this takes longer.
In addition, and perhaps more importantly, a woman needs to gauge her man's reliability, and this demands time.
The implications of this are enormous for both sexes in dating, but let me underline the biggest lesson for women: if a man isn't falling for you from an early stage - say, the first month - it isn't going to happen.
But the woman who propagates her genes is one who accurately judges whether the man with whom she mates is not only strong, but also stable - that is, capable of protecting and providing for her children until they are grown.
Before long I started getting attached and soon I found myself falling for him.
We spent a lot of time together, and by three months I was in love.
Since recognizing this difference in the sexes, I've had time to consider why it exists, and I think I have a reasonable understanding of what is going on.
The information that a man needs to trigger romantic love is information that he can perceive within a few interactions with a woman.