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Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say?
Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick.
But making a joke that falls flat is much better than an overly serious date.
I mean, who wants to spend the whole night talking about work or their daddy issues? If you're having trouble striking the right note with your standup, here are some jokes to get you off to the right start: This one's a wild card.
Traditionally, pick-up lines are seen as ineffective and juvenile — and in any other context, they are. Since Tinder has become the de facto standard for mobile hookups, pick-up lines are actually somewhat necessary.
After all, you need an icebreaker, but not just Enter the pick-up line.
If you don't know your date's sense of humor, it can be hard to figure out whether your jokes are going to land right.
You might put yourself on silent with your own self-doubt.
Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Q: What's the difference between a Catholic girlfriend and a Jewish girlfriend? Girl's Best Friend After dinner and a movie, Chris drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move.
Double entendres have long been a staple of dating quips. Not as clever as the ones before, but straightforward mixed with unexpected can have pretty good results. Whether clever, funny, or downright serious, give us your best shot and try to swoon us with one line.
There's a lot of pressure to find funny things to say on a first date.
You’re already “in” with her, so don’t be afraid to go all out. Some canned lines are good enough to stand on their own — and some so clever that it’d be a shame not to use them — but if you can come up with a line that matches the situation, you’ll set yourself apart.
Rather than presenting the other person a single line that they can either accept or reject wholesale, you might fair better if you get them actively engaged with a miniature guessing game and pull a plot twist on them at the end.