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I'm a liar, a cheat, a user, and a manipulator—and it just keeps happening. You turned them into affairs by continuing to show up. Zooming out: If all it takes for some rando to get her hands on your otherwise committed cock is to DM you on Instagram, you have no business making monogamous commitments.And while you claim that each of these women pursued you despite knowing you were in an exclusive relationship, it doesn't sound like you ran from any of them. " as if the universe were conspiring against you somehow. If you'd sought out a partner who wanted an open relationship—a wide-open one—you could have had concurrent, committed, nonexclusive relationships and avoided being "a liar, a cheat, a user," etc.While people outside the relationship might perceive that as unfair—one gets to cheat, the other doesn't—what's more ideal than both halves of a couple getting just what they want?But if an eroticized power imbalance—an honestly erotized one—doesn't turn you on, the creepily manipulative arrangement your husband is proposing certainly isn't going to work.At best, you broke into (or slowed to) a trot, which allowed each one of these lady predators to overtake you. You weren't hit by a pussy meteor every time you left the house. Seeing as you're a reader, ASSHOLE, I suspect you knew an honest open relationship was an option—that ethical nonmonogamy was an option—but you didn't pursue that. Maybe because you don't want to be with a woman who is free to sit on other dicks.
So long as your husband thinks he can dictate terms by pointing to his triggers and his trauma, GMHC, he has every incentive to continue being triggered and traumatized.Be honest, ASSHOLE, just this once: Is the destruction of your wife a bug or is it a feature? Because cheating on this scale isn't about succumbing to temptation or reacting to neglect.It's about the annihilation of your partner—a (hopefully) subconscious desire to punish and destroy someone, anyone, fool enough to love you.He says this would be best, since my hooking up triggers him. But they were cuckold couples, GMHC, and the half who didn't "get to" hook up with others didn't want to hook up with others.The cuck half of a cuckold couple gets off on their partner "cheating" on them.